Most foul
by McPhillips
Summary: B-listers are the worst.
1. Chapter 1

"I hate illusionists," Teddy muttered as thirteen different Billys pleaded silently at him.

He was in a house of mirrors, every reflection was Billy, and the voice of some b-lister was playing in the background, "Your love is behind one of these mirrors. Choose carefully, hero. Or things could go wrong in a very bad way."

"Wow. Original. Of course," Teddy continued, looking straight up at the roof, "As a shapeshifter, I can always tell when someone's faking."

He rocketed up through the ceiling. Sure enough, there stood Mysterio. Or so his eyes told him…

"Ok, I'll stick to the script: where's Billy?"

The maybe-villain pointed upwards. An impossibly high diving board with an unconscious Billy poised precariously on top.

"Yeah, that's too easy. So I'll ask again: Where's B-"

A whoosh of air. And an annoying snicker in Teddy's ear. That meant…

"…TOMMY!"

But the green blur was already at the top of the diving board. "Man, Teddy. You actually left Billy up here? I'm impressed- even I'm not that cru-"

'Billy' sprang up and grabbed Tommy's throat.

Everything decelerated. The world seemed to move in slow motion.

Teddy heard a smash and turned to see the mirrors below shattering in unison, glass spiralling into the air, revealing dynamite with very little fuse.

Up on the diving board, Tommy flailed as tried to wrestle the hands from his neck.

Wings burst from Teddy's back and he took to the air, he could see everything, every detail, going half its normal speed. He rushed, but it was like he was moving through treacle. And Tommy's eyes changed, his interminable smugness for once, briefly, replaced with fear. And the villain wearing Billy's face looked on impassive, as his thumb pressed in, and a 'snap' rang through the air.

Then everything sped back up.

Tommy's body dropped to the ground, the fuse ran out and Teddy roared in the same moment.

Then everything went white.


	2. Chapter 2

The funeral was brief. A lot like Tommy in that respect.

Billy couldn't look at the coffin. It was too small.

Teddy had healed even quicker than his powers should have allowed- he knew that Billy needed him.

They drove back- flying seemed disrespectful somehow.

"Ted, if I say he was the best of us, do you promise not to contradict me?"

"The thought wouldn't even cross my mind."

"Well I'm not going to cos he was an asshole." Billy cracked a smile and then swallowed it up like it was a guilty pleasure.

"I'd not met the Shepherds before. They seemed...oddly normal."

"I know, right?" Billy turned to his lover. "I'd've thought they'd be hippies or something."

"They could at least have the decency to dye their hair odd colours." Teddy didn't take his eyes off the road, but lent out a hand for Billy to take. They slotted their fingers together. "He loved you, you know. I mean, I got there first, but it still counts for something."

"You should've heard him talking about you. He could never get why you trucked with me."

Teddy smiled. "Asshole doesn't quite cover it."


	3. Chapter 3

"I didn't mean to kill him!" Mysterio ripped his cloak out of Teddy's hands and scampered down a hall.

_"Don't go after him, Ted, please. I can't lose you too." Billy had pleaded._

_"You won't." It occured to Teddy that it might be the last time he ever saw his lover; he kissed his hand._

Teddy bounced off the walls as he plummeted down the corridor. The villain ahead of him shrieked and tripped.

_"At least let me go with you."_

_"No, Billy. You need to stay and make sure he doesn't get any ideas and go after your family."_

"Mercy!" Mysterio yanked off his helmet and pointed at his face. "Look at me, I'm an old man. I'll die in jail anyway."

"Not good enough." Teddy started pounding.

**"We don't know how Mysterio survived the explosion." Vision's voice didn't falter, but Teddy could see that even the robot knew the universe had saved the wrong trickster. "We're also not sure what manner of being it was that actually killed Tommy- illusions can't make physical contact and Beck himself wouldn't have been fast enough to catch Tommy."**

**"I'll catch it." Teddy vowed. "But there might not be enough left to analyse."**

"Fine!" Mysterio grabbed Teddy's fist and threw him backwards. The hero smashed into the wall and Mysterio stood up, pulled off a glove and revealed an impossibly large buzzsaw had replaced his right hand. "If you won't show me mercy, I won't show you any."

He leapt at Teddy, who rolled to the side- the blade clanged against the wall. Teddy kicked him backwards, but Mysterio grabbed his foot and swung him across the room. He landed hard and suddenly Mysterio was towering above him, buzzsaw raised.

"NO!"

Blue light enveloped the villain who burst out screaming, then crumpled to the floor. Behind him stood Billy, hands a-glow. He looked terrified. The buzzsaw was still spinning. "I'm sorry, Theo, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

Teddy looked from the villain to Billy and back again. "It's okay, babe. It's okay. Come here. " Billy ran toward him...

Teddy stuck out his foot and pushed against the mage's face. 'Billy' fell backwards; right onto the buzzsaw. "Two things you should know, Beck: my boyfriend's no frag-stealer," Teddy pulled the mask off 'Billy''s face and saw Mysterio's glassy eyes beneath, "and he's never called me 'Theo' in his life."

**_"It was a robot suit, Billy. Made to look like you. It enhanced his speed, his strength. Even let him survive the blast. It fooled Tommy, but it's like I told Beck the first time- I always know when someone's faking."_**


End file.
